Return to the Clocktower...

Well, since we were summarily (temporarily) evicted from the Clocktower, I figured that I would bring up the substitute. I was just getting back into things, as well. So, this is the ersatz replacement for the Clocktower. Diminutive of clock is watch, but some folks might get us confused with a certain religious group if we called it the Watchtower. Shall we call it the Hourglass Tavern? Somebody come up with a name.

Last I recall (insert memory loss/alcohol joke here) I was working on a recipe for a new drink - the Zombie Apocalypse. A fine dark rum, and Blue Curacao were all I had for certain, I think. Maybe some cinnamon schnapps to give it a kick and a burn.

Any suggestions?


Cheers!

Chas.

Ahh the Clocktower, I really should pop in there more often. Haven't been back since the incident withe the cream explosion, the plague of Dodos and the deadly yellow cheese substitute. It was costing me a fortune in cleaning bills....

Anyhow, I've spent some time behind the bar, as well as propping it up, so let's see what I can come up with....

*Looks around for seat* uhm... seems we could do with some....any...seating around here! *uprights empty beer barrel, dusts off and takes a seat*

So we have dark Rum, Blue Curacao, and cinnamon schnapps... Hmm spicy! I would suggest adding a small piece of finely chopped ginger, a dash of lime juice, a small sprig of curry leaf, a split green chilli, and a few ice cubes to take the heat off.
Probaly best served with a fire extinguisher if you leave the chilli seeds in...

SS

The Keep of Time? (pardon the pun)

*crooks an arm, crooks a finger, and has the chronotroopers haul in a huge black-walnut-and-red-porphyry bar*

There, thats it, lads, against the wall over there, I think, yes, leave a space for the barkeep. What's that, whatta you mean he's on backorder?! Oh, all right, we'll shift for ourselves til then.

THREE DAYS!? Oh, alright, off with you, then.

*walks behind the bar, sets up Ales for everybody*

Slightly weird bar, here, I just opened the fridge back here and there they were, pint glasses and taps and all...

*Opens teh fridge again, sets a strange-looking mixed drink on the bar*

Cap'n? I think this might be yours...
Hmmm... 'The Timekeeper Tavern'? No? Hmmm...

The Clock and Key?

The Clockwell Sprung??

The Clock Face...?

Uhm.....The Cog and Spanner?

The Cogs and Etsy....??

*sips drink and mulls over pub names* Hmmmmmm...... *deep in thought*

SS

Okay... let's see. It's got the rum, Curacao, and cinnamon schnapps in it. Yes, the chopped ginger, that should help.

Don't want to overdo it with the spices, though. Instead of the curry leaf, a sprig of mint - something to temper the heat a bit. Rose's Lime Juice - it's the only brand I use in drinks. Ice, of course. I don't think making it a blended drink would help anything, do you?

If I weren't in the middle of packing for a bit of a safari, I would have mixed one up at home to try it by now. This reminds me of experimenting with "shooters" when I was a much younger man with lots of brain cells. Made "Ace" - plus two, actual count of seven - against B-52s one night in the - this will throw some folks - bar in our barracks. In the US Navy. Yes, it happened, an actual bar in our barracks.

A friend invented one; it was Bailey's and cinnamon schnapps (and vodka, I think). You put the Bailey's in, and when you added the other bits - it curdled, slightly. Awful sight - looked sort of like bloody brains, or some sort of bodily fluids mixed together. It sort of *crawled* down your throat, but it was surprisingly good. Having invented it, he got to name it... he called it the "Painful Discharge". Eww...

Ah, another successful experiment.


Cheers!

Chas.

Well, doesn't look like this place needs a clean. I think I'll make the most of this most horrific break from BG, and put my feet up.
*Sits down, and places feet on an Ottoman*
Aaahhhhh. That's about right.

Wow - that Ottoman left in a rush. He must be headed back to Constantinople for something... He was muttering something about getting Hasan and coming back. Wonder why?

Let me fetch you a footstool, H. Looks like you could you could use one.

I feel sorry for all those BG members who haven't found this place yet. We have tried to get the word out that there is a lifeboat, as it were, but obviously not all have got the message.



Cheers!

Chas.

He's run off has he? Damn. And I was going to slip him *quite* a large tip, too. A rather comfortable back he had...

'Please let it just be me' might be the thread to post a heads-up in; it seems everybody gravitates to that one the first few times they arrive/log in/register/what have you.

I say, nice overstuffed furniture addition. Could do with a few lamps, though, for that comfy glow.

*checks the weirdly-serendipitously-stocked 'fridge'*

Well, what do you know! *pulls out several lamps, and drum tables to set them on, extension cords, cord covers, and powerstrips and spreads them around the Lounging area*

Apparently the Common Room tables and chairs and barstools are still on backorder...

*mumbles long-winded story about a time on campaign in Mesopotamia*

".... war was war, and Men were Men!...."



Cheers!

Chas.

*Pokes around in the storage room in back and finds scores of movable wooden booths complete with benches and chairs, sets them up along the walls in the corner beside the front door*

Mesopotamia? Sounds familiar...

You've probably heard me rattle on about it. An old dinosaur like me should realize when he has been treating a gathering of friends like an audience, haranguing them with old war stories, and "no steam, there I was" tales.

But yes, I had an interesting time in the Land of the Two Rivers. In many ways I have never felt so alive. I have seen Ur of the Chaldees, the Ziggurat, in the birthplace of Abraham. I have drunk from the Tigris and the Euphrates (after the water was treated, of course). It is a time I will always remember...

Ah... time for another. Oh, look - the Caterpillar has arrived, and he is lighting his hookah in the corner. I will go and see how he is handling this little interlude.


Cheers!

Chas.

Ah... the return of the very lazy caterpillar.....good show....

Barmen a bottle of Tequila, hide the worm, it could upset the caterpillar again....

Right you are, sir!

*uses a very thin pair of tweezers to extricate the worm from the bottle and surreptitiously drops the offending corpse into the incinerator chute.*

There you are, sir! One bottle of Tequila...

*still deep in thoughts of pub names, staring at bar counter*

GOT IT!! A CLOCKWORK ORANGE!!.....wait. what? NO, that would be a stupid name for a pub! Meh, I give up!

*turns around to return to barrel seat, walks face first into side of newly positioned wooden booth* *THUD!*

*face down on floor, looks up and notices caterpillar* My word! - what the hell was in that last drink?!!

Barman! - I'll have the same again please!

SS

ahhhhh....tequlia... , just what I need at the moment.....


pondering alternative names for this place I was drawn to

"A Funny thing happened on the way to the BG Forum....."

need a oversized sign though....

Siliconous Skumins wrote:*still deep in thoughts of pub names, staring at bar counter*

GOT IT!! A CLOCKWORK ORANGE!!.....wait. what? NO, that would be a stupid name for a pub! Meh, I give up!

*turns around to return to barrel seat, walks face first into side of newly positioned wooden booth* *THUD!*

*face down on floor, looks up and notices caterpillar* My word! - what the hell was in that last drink?!!

Barman! - I'll have the same again please!

SS

*Looks over and winks at the caterpillar and sets another de-wormed bottle on the bar*

There ye go, squire. Limit's three!
*Looks at Mr. Skumins closely as he helps him to stand at the bar again*

You'd better let me call a coach for you, Squire...

A coach? My dear fellow, this is hardly the time, nor place for excercise. I really don't buy into all this modern health thing - I say, you not one of those temperance fellows are you? Most unusual occupation if you are!

*rubbs bump on head* Hmmm, maybe I'd better have a cup of tea instead. Milk, two suggars - Ta!
I'll be over there with the short green looking fellow with the hookah...

*wanders over to caterpillar* May I take a seat?...Ah, thank you, most kind. *takes out leather pouch from inside coat pocket* I think you may be interested in this, something I picked it up on my travels! *loads up hookah with strong smelling sticky green material, takes an unused hose and lights the hookah* **gurgling hookah sounds** Ahhhh! that's better!

SS

*wanders over to bar, nibbles pork scratchings* Hmm, seems the new tobacco I shared with the caterpillar, didin't agree too well with him. Still I'm sure once the projectile vomiting stops he should be alright... Probably.


Is it just me or is it getting a bit parky in here? Time to light the fire methinks!

* goes over to fireplace and scrunches up old newspaper, adds some wood kindling, and a liberal helping of coal*

Right, now for the special ingrediant to get it going.... *pours a pint of petroleum spirit onto coal, lights match....and stands back*

*flick*................*FFFFOOOMPH!* Ahh, perfect! *warms hands*


Once that get up to heat, I think it's time for some tea and freshly toasted crumpets!

Barkeep, do we have a toasting fork anywhere? Oh and some butter!

SS

Butter? I do believe I have some right here.
*Reaches into carpet bag*
Here we go. A finer pound of butter you will never experience. Careful though, it's a touch soft.

I think I will have what the gentleman on the floor is having. Oh, he's up again... better make it two.


Cheers!

Chas.

There ye go, sir.

*looks around behind the bar*

Say, this thing's got everything! All we really lack back here is a trap doooooor...*THUD*

*stokes fire, adds more coal* Excellent, now where's that toasting fork...

*goes behind bar* Ohh, better shut that open trap door, somebody is likely to fall down that! *flicks trapdoor shut with foot* *CLUNK*

Ah, here we go! - Toasting forks! Now, who's for crumpet and tea? Has anyone seen the barkeep? When he returns someone give him a nudge and tell him we're ready for the tea. I'll be over by the fire...

*walks over to fire place, whistling jauntily while skewering a crumpet with toasting fork*

There we go...



SS

*turning around from fire* Crupets are re.....edd...y.......HUH? where did everybody go?

*empty room*

Something I said? *notices telegram on floor, picks it up* "BG IS BACK ONLINE STOP"

Jolly good. *Bolts for door like a madman*

SS

*Some time later...*

*door opens with a rusty creaking sound, a flurry of snow blows in, a partly frozen figure stands in the doorway. Inside, the room is dark and cold, seemingly empty. A slightly dusty, damp smell lingers on the air*
.... *slams door shut*
*gasps* Phew! That was a dificult journey in this weather! *snaps icicles from top hat*

HELLLOOO!!!?? Anyone here? *shivers* BRRRR!! Time to get the fire lit!


*removes carbonised lumps on toasting forks that were once crumpets, shovels the ashes from the fire into the ash bucket and begins laying a fire* Bugger! - no coal in the scuttle... *spies an empty barrel and smashes it apart, chucking the wood into the fireplace*

Better than nothing I suppose! There must be a coal shed around here somewhere... *Takes vesta case from pocket and strikes a vesta against base, lights paper and thin wood kindling in fire grate*

SS